Sunday, June 04, 2006
Sometimes I am such a yoyo. If my emotions could have their way, I'd be bouncing all over the place. I am looking for a place within myself where I am not ruled by emotion. I am so easily tempted to fall into a funk for no reason whatsoever. For instance; last night I was watching The Bourne Identity with my wife, having a nice, relaxing eveing, when out of nowhere I was beset by nagging little thoughts that blossomed into low-grade anxieties. I find that if I dwell on them they only get worse. I decided to just let them pass through my mind without focusing on them and ride them out. What a ride. It almost ruined my evening. I realize that thoughts are just thoughts; I have no control over what passes into my mind. I do, however have total control over what I focus on. Unfortunately I don't always focus on the positive. I am bent towards dark imaginings. I don't like it. I am trying to change that fact.